Nine Months of Roshan

Hello again. I am emerging from the other side of sleep deprivation, blinking in the light, after Roshu had his FIRST NIGHT OF UNBROKEN SLEEP last night. EVER. After a couple of months of sheer torture when he regressed to waking hourly which led to him sleeping next to me and drinking a sip from his bottle every hour all night, we resorted to controlled crying. As hard as it was, particularly the first night, it worked and Roshu is so much happier and more settled for it. As am I. I felt like I was going mad for a while, but that is simply what intense sleep deprivation can do. I remember a woman in Ikea telling me that she was loving being a mum to a baby the same age as Roshu, and my heart broke because I realised at that point that I couldn't say the same thing. Now I understand that I was just utterly, utterly exhausted.

Anyway, six months have passed since my last update on Roshu. He is still the brilliant, happy, sociable baby I wrote about then. If anything, he's happier and more sociable! He is simply a delight to be around and he loves and is loved by all who meet him. We are still little (we remain snugly on our 2nd centile) and at nearly 10 months, just transitioning into 6-9month clothing with some 3-6 month stuff (M&S your sizing is HUGGGE!) But he's got chubby, rosy cheeks, and is very, very strong (he was kicking on his change mat so hard that he hurt my ankle earlier). 

Roshu's weaning story goes up and down, he does get bored of food quite easily and prefers to move, play and talk rather than eat lots and lots. But in the last couple of days he's started vocalising his enjoyment of foods - particularly oranges, hot cross buns and yoghurt, which are his favourites. But mealtimes have to be accompanied by mummy singing (I have invented many, many verses for The Wheels on the Bus and Old MacDonald has branched out into zookeeping) and many toys as well as finger foods to keep his attention. When he gets a cold (which is often) he goes completely off his food which is understandable, but always stresses me out a bit. I must remember that it sucks to eat when you can't taste anything!

He is chatting away all the time now, with hand gestures and frequent raisings of his highly expressive eyebrows. We are treated to "mama", "bababa" and "da" sounds most frequently, and he definitely says "mama" when he wants something or isn't happy (I suppose I am the person who "fixes" him!). His voice has a unique, rather duck-like quality, with the odd dinosaur/monster growl and very high pitched squeal thrown in. In the last two weeks he has learnt to shake his head, but it's a proper "Indian" head shake accompanied by much smiling as though I'm attempting to haggle with him and offering a ridiculously low price. I love love LOVE the fact that sometimes he hugs me back with his tiny arms around my shoulder, nuzzling into me. We still have no teeth (I feel rather embarrassed about getting excited at the drooling and chewing at 3 months now), but crawling is imminent as he is flipping onto his stomach and pushing himself forward and backwards all the time now. He is also standing quite confidently against furniture. I'm really proud of him for his mobility given that he has spent so much of his young life with his legs braced together, flat on his back, because of the talipes.

He is so brilliantly used to his boots and bar now, though it does concern me how deeply focused he becomes when I strap his little feet into them, as if he is trying to work out how to undo them! His feet are perfect now but need the brace to stay that way, and I have built the boots into his bedtime routine so solidly that I hope he'll just think that boots = bedtime when he's older. Fingers crossed!

Roshu loves books - if you give him a bunch of toys and one book, he'll reach for the book. It's so much fun reading with him and watching him follow my mouth and expressions and eagerly turn the pages. That said, he loves interactive toys, my phone and my netbook with a passion and spends ages just opening and closing the "baby laptop" my mum got him. He loves his jumperoo too but requires an appreciative audience while bouncing in it, which rather defies the point of it. So there's much mumbling of "that's brilliant bouncing, Roshu" that goes on while I try to squeeze some work into my crazy, busy days.

He also LOVES to go out. He gets ridiculously excited when I start to put his coat on, as he knows this is the signal that An Adventure (possibly involving Trying Foods One Shouldn't Really Eat or Making New Friends or BOTH) is about to begin. I've started using the proper seat that comes with my Urbo rather than the car seat facing towards me as he is much more interested in seeing the world than his mum now. On the downside, the view is so very interesting from his buggy that it takes an absolute age to get him off to sleep in the buggy, if at all. (It's so very flattering that I was so boring in comparison!) He loves going on swings (and going alarmingly high) which suggests to me a thrillseeker daredevil type in the making which he definitely does not get from me. When out, he will do his level best to befriend EVERY person in a 10 metre radius, and gets a little irked if they resist his many, many charms. 

Over the last few days I have really found myself enjoying life so much more. I've loved Roshu and enjoyed being with him from day one, and even before, but with the alopecia (I now have no hair whatsoever), the pain and symptoms from my tear, the talipes and the sleep issues, I was finding it so unbelievably difficult to cope and get through each day.  I felt like each day was a battle, that I was just scrabbling to keep my head above water. I'm so glad I had family support and friends to get me through (thank you, grandparents and Hipp Organic formula, combined you have given me many nights of precious unbroken sleep), and a sensible health visitor who enabled me to take steps I needed to get Roshu to sleep better. Because it's sleep that we both needed to get to this happy place, and sleep we are now getting. Finally.

So nine months of Roshu. It feels a strange milestone, I was pregnant for nine months, he's been in the world for the same length of time. We've had so many challenges, and we're overcoming them one by one. He's tough and hardy, so resilient and cheerful even when ill and exhausted that he inspires me to be strong and bright too. He is a magical child who, true to his sunny name, continues to light up the lives of those around him, and I'm so glad I am his mum.

50 Random Facts

This tag has been doing the rounds and I thought I would take part, mostly in order to cheer poor Charlotte of Lipglossiping up who is recovering from pneumonia. Feel better soon!

1. I grew up wanting perfect teeth and had them for a bit, before they all moved about leaving a gap on one side. But now I love that gap.
2. There's a novel in me, but I need to make time to write it.
3. I love to cook but would live on cornflakes and toast if I lived on my own.
4. I have forgotten how to ride a bike.
5. I had many different nicknames as a child, including Polly. It's a Bengali thing.
6. My favourite chocolates in the world are Ferrero Rochers.
7. I used to collect gemstones and still know quite a lot about them.
8. I look rubbish in all shades of blue (teal and turquoise excepted), and white.
9. I was bullied at school for being short and brown.
10. I predicted my sister was a girl, my brother a boy, and my baby a boy. Just call me Mystic Meg.

11. I passed my driving test on the fifth time but I have a social phobia of driving which means I haven't yet used my licence.
12. When I was fifteen I could sit on my hair and it made a plait I couldn't get my fingers round.
13. I've been able to do a perfect eyeliner flick since I was 17.
14. I have always had a secret dream to be a jazz/blues singer.
15. I can't swim.
16. When you come to my house you will be offered a myriad of different hot beverage options.
17. I own about 150 bottles of nail polish.
18. And three bedside cabinet drawers of makeup.
19. My sister is my best friend. But I love my bro too.
20. But I'm also blessed with a small circle of friends I've had for years now. There was a time I didn't have any at all.

21. I hated everything except learning at school.
22. I used to be ambidextrous but was told off at school for showing off when I used to write with both hands.
23. My chilli paneer is better than Sakoni's, Wembley (legendary).
24. I once cried because the heather in the New Forest had made the whole landscape purple and I was overwhelmed by how lovely it was.
25. Bartimaeus and I have a rather wistful, romantic love story that one day will be made into a Bollywood film.
26. Said film would star Saif Ali Khan and Konkona Sen Sharma.
27. I'm meaner than I seem.
28. Having a medic sister means I'm not very squeamish.
29. I could be tidier.
30. But I'm awesome at finding things people have lost and I never forget anything.

31. Once most of my makeup was high end (MAC, NARS) but now it's probably 75% high street.
32. I live opposite a tiny synagogue and consider myself its out of hours guardian.
33. I have a high squeaky speaking voice, but my singing voice is alto. It means the only songs I can sing along to on the radio are ones sung by dudes.
34. I used to never be able to watch horror films but really like (non-gory) ones now.
35. I am a fantasy and sci-fi nerd, and PROUD.
36. But I've never got into computer games because I'd get too addicted.
37. I'd rather have a glass of Coke than wine.
38. I love my Kindle even though I spent years debating getting one.
39. I'm not a very fussy eater but I am a slow one.
40. Most of my books are still at my mum's because there's just so many of them and I wouldn't know where to put them all.

41. I think there are two types of people in the world - Burger King and McDonalds. I am the latter, and I judge the former.
42. If I'm scowling at you, the chances are I'm grinding my sensitive tooth.
43. I'm a real scaredy cat.
44. I have the most pathetic veins ever and only specialist nurses and doctors can manage taking blood from me.
45. My mum was obsessed with me not being under five foot tall. Luckily, I just made it over.
46. Six years on, I am still completely fascinated by everything my sister's cats do.
47. I do appreciate a nice biscuit.
48. I don't look like me without a side fringe.
49. I loved my uni years.
50. I've always wanted to be a mother and am so excited that I'll soon be able to fulfil that part of me. 

Hopping back

Well helloo there! Much has been going on over the last couple of months at Rabbit-Bartimaeus HQ. Most significantly, we are, as the above image suggests, expecting a new arrival in June! I've generally been struggling with sickness, nausea (er, I'm well into the second trimester and I am supposed to feel "amazing" now?) which partly explains yet another blog hiatus, but other than that I am well and we are so excited.

I've not yet gone crazy with baby purchases but I did have to pick up a couple of things from the Peter RABBIT collection for Baby Gap. I used to read the story of Peter Rabbit to my brother when he was a baby (it began a lifelong dislike of chamomile tea, which was unfortunate as I used to have to drink it for my migraines, bleurgh). I especially like the babygrow, because, being the spawn of Bartimaeus, there's a good chance the Mini Bun is going to add substantially to my grey hairs.

I've been reigning in the clothes spending, for obvious reasons, but I am really enjoying makeup at the moment so expect nail posts and pictures of my mug coming up soon. I've also been putting together a compilation of songs for the baby, and have been reading a lot more, so reviews and bits of music may also find their way here.

How are you all?

The Entrepreneurial Rabbit

I've just begun my first business venture since I was 17 (when I had my own jewellery business and made over £300 in profits selling made-to-order pieces in the office I temped at).

It's really early days but today was market research day and things are looking really positive. I guess I've always been an entrepreneur in some ways since that teen venture (as pompous and Dragons' Den as that noun sounds!) - I've had so many ideas for businesses, but I've never had the guts to see any of them through. I'm an overly cautious person that always sees the downsides in things and I'm very scared of taking risks.

Luckily, Bartimaeus is pretty much my opposite in this respect. When I had this recent idea (more on it when I've got started!) he encouraged, wheedled and badgered me into taking it seriously. Even earlier this week, as I prepped for my market research, I was totally terrified. It's really quite nervewracking going up to random people you don't know asking them if they'd want to try something out and fill in a questionaire.

But, I am so glad I did. The basically-anonymous feedback has been so glowingly positive, I'm beaming from ear to ear. I can't remember the last time I got a buzz like it. My mind is buzzing with ways to improve, build, develop what I've begun.

I'm sure a lot of you also have ideas like mine - things you don't see out there, or, just as importantly, things that could be just that little bit better (one of the most eye-opening things I realised was that you don't have to reinvent the wheel. If something's already been done - it's actually better because it proves there's a market). But too often perhaps we are that Rabbit in the headlights - discouraged by all the possible downsides, terrified into not moving.

So the moral of the story is: listen to your inner Bartimaeus sometimes.*



*when he reads this he is going to be absolutely INSUFFERABLE to live with...